The problem: “I feel like I’m the one in the relationship who does the things a guy should do. I want to know that my potential husband would protect me from a pack of wild dogs (or zombies) and not run in the opposite direction.’’
My take was: “It’s not about whether he is masculine; it’s about whether he’s thoughtful and chivalrous. Who cares if he can change a flat tire if he asks you whether you’re warm enough while you wait for the tow truck?’’
Most popular Boston.com comment: THEREALJBAR wrote, “My Dad can’t figure out how to use a hammer. He needs help with anything you would term ‘manly’ as far as tasks go. But we always knew we could count on him in the important matters, like making us feel loved, and safe, and special. He was my hero growing up and he still is.’’
9. IS THIS YOUNGER MAN INTERESTED? (July 18, 2011)
The problem: “I developed a crush on a young man who is 24. He is amazing in so many ways and I believe he genuinely likes me. Am I crazy to think he’s still giving out mixed signals?!!??!’’
My take was: “Why are you communicating like a 24-year-old instead of forcing him to discuss all of this like a 36-year-old?’’
Most popular comment: LILY, in response to the letter writer’s comment about her crush wearing cologne and shaving before their outings. “You just described my teenager’s behavior on Friday nights before he goes to the mall.’’
8. I DREAD HIS RETURN (May 12, 2011)
The problem: A military wife admits that she’s concerned about her husband’s return. She feels guilty about enjoying life without him in the house. “I love him - and like him - but when I look at what my life and my stress level is now (low) compared with what I anticipate it being when he returns, I wonder if I’m going to make it through this homecoming and reentry into family life.’’
My take: Get help from the military. Don’t make assumptions about how it will feel. “Yes, he will annoy you, and no, you won’t have a queen-like rule over the television, but there will be benefits to having him home that you can’t even imagine right now.’’
