Maybe that’s why we trust them with the delicate transaction of money for a mood-altering agent. Given their interactions with broad swaths of people, they are default sociologists, regardless of whether they’re pouring 1984 Burgundy or Bud Light Lime.
Ask them for advice for wooing a date - be it a new beau or a spouse - and it boils down to a blunt reminder that face time operates under an entirely different set of rules than Facebook. (And that goes for every day, not just Feb. 14.)
“Often when you go to a bar, the staff places a square paper napkin in front of you in anticipation of the drink you will be getting soon. It is not a cradle for your mobile device,’’ notes Joe McGuirk, who has been behind the bar since 1991 and currently works at Highland Kitchen in Somerville. “Shut your ringer off, put your cellphone in your pocket, and hang out with the charming person you made plans with. Feign a bladder issue if you need to check your phone every 5 minutes. No one wants to be upstaged by Siri,’’ he said, referring to the iPhone 4’s digital personality.
More than a few bartenders call attention to how maintaining eye contact and actively engaging in conversation have become lost arts.
“People come in with all this armor when they should be stripped down,’’ said Danielle Marshall, who’s bartended at CityBar and the Gallows. “Show who you are, don’t cover stuff up. It’s about confidence - making eye contact and being able to listen.’’
And listen when it comes to ordering. Nobody appreciates bombast.
“Some people are very honest in front of a date and ask for advice on what to order,’’ said Vin Colafella, bartender at Julep whose resume ranges from North End eateries to nightclubs. “But then you get people who think they know what they’re talking about when they don’t know what they’re ordering, which comes off as cocky or condescending.’’ No wonder he reports seeing people return from the washroom to learn a companion has vamoosed.
“Don’t order for your date unless you know what he/she is having. Or if he/she is having another,’’ McGuirk advises wryly. “Your date may not want that Jaeger Bomb you ordered for her while she went to the loo. In fact, she may not want another at all if you’ve been yapping the whole time. She may just want to go home.’’
You certainly shouldn’t need bartenders to remind you to drink in moderation. But they will.
“People get nervous, but the biggest mistake is overdoing it right away with alcohol at the bar. It can always turn into an awkward moment - especially for the bartender,’’ said Colafella.
And please, please don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. “It’s nice to be courteous to the bartender, especially because we are the ones who can help you out, and it’s good to have an ally.’’
