Factors favoring Boston/New England
Quarterback’s father studied for the priesthood; credit for that.
Quarterback attended parochial school in San Mateo, Calif.: “Inspired by the Gospel of Jesus Christ and empowered by a faith that is living, conscious and active, Junípero Serra is a Catholic college preparatory dedicated to the holistic formation of our students.’’ God says: Extra credit for that!
Quarterback fathered a child out of wedlock. Points deducted. Child named after New Testament Gospel writer John. Points restored.
Quarterback is married to a goddess. (God’s note to Self: That’s enough about the quarterback.)
Blasphemy 101: Denver has a nightclub called the Church. (See Blasphemy 102, below.) Some sample promotional heresy: “Come worship the dance at The Church Nightclub. . . . Built in 1865, this former place of worship is now home to dance worshippers and gets pumping Thursday through Sunday. With high beamed Gothic architecture, stained glass windows -’’ OK, we get it.
Or do we? “Dress Code: You’re going to Church so come dressed up for a fun night out, just no hats, sports jerseys/apparel or single color tees please.’’
God has punished the Patriots before. See David Tyree’s notorious “helmet catch’’ in Super Bowl XLII. God has a sense of fairness, however, and sent Plaxico Burress to jail for showing up poor Ellis Hobbs four plays later.
God loves a two-newspaper town, even if one of the newspapers - oh, never mind.
Denver claims to have invented the cheeseburger. Not bloody likely, God says, plus cheeseburgers are bad for you.
Speaking of hamburgers, God has seen Tebow’s special message “John 3:16’’ printed inside the Coke cups at every In-N-Out Burger location. Maybe people need to spend more time with Revelation 20, thinking about the eternal “lake of fire and sulfur.’’
