But Monday's biggest story was 6-foot-7, 260-pound Rob Gronkowski. Our newest folk hero had four catches for 96 yards and two touchdowns in Monday's beatdown. Look, Ma, it flies. He was super, man. Bibi's Boy has 20 career TDs in just 26 games - Iron Mike got spiked from the record books. Gronk is the happy-go-lucky hero in a old-school Grimm fairy tale. The big bad wolf tries to steal the lovely porn star but Gronk strolls by just in time to chase the wolf away and post the photos on Twitter.
Gronk's first TD Monday was on a blown-coverage 52-yard open-field scamper in the second quarter. With the Pats up 10-3 in the third, Gronk unleashed a 19-yard tango down the sidelines that ended with him landing back-of-the-head first in the end zone. Gronk staggered and wobbled before getting off the post-TD spike. He was checked on the sidelines and apparently proved he could still count to 10. “Yeah, I remembered the moment and everything," he told ESPN after the game. "If I didn’t, I still wouldn’t say I didn’t because I want to play this week.” Gronk do wicked good. Pretty smart thinking for a guy who probably wasn't thinking that clearly.
He's got an "aw, shucks" attitude that masks a stone-cold ability to fight his way open, hold on to the ball and rumble until he hits a wall or the end zone. In Tom Brady's world of rotating receivers - Gronk has stolen whatever piece of the spotlight was reserved for Chad No-Ocho-Cinco.
After a three-and-out, Julian "Innocent Until No Longer Productive" Edelman went Devin Hester on the Chiefs and ran back the punt 72 yards for a touchdown that put the Pats up 24-3 with 9:24 left in the third. On the kickoff, Edelman made the tackle just for kicks.
Game. Set. Massacre. Tyler Palko was not ready for prime time or the red zone. Don't think this guy could complete a pass in Madden 2012. He may have thrown the single-worst pass of the NFL season into triple coverage that resulted in his third INT of the night courtesy of Phillip Adams in the end zone.
The Patriots had 33 yards and trailed 3-0 after their first four possessions Monday night. But they scored on their next five possessions in a 34-3 turducken-sized rout of the Chiefs.
