Footage from Fenway for Fourth fireworks faked!
Those TV images of Boston’s Independence Day pyrotechnics bursting above our hallowed ballpark sure looked lovely. Turns out they were digital sleights of hand.
I haven’t been this shocked since I found out “The Hills’’ was scripted.
(Seriously, who would have imagined that the pinheads on MTV’s cult reality show could read lines? Though, like the CBS fireworks coverage, “The Hills’’ wasn’t totally fake: Heidi’s huge breast implants were real.)
Philanthropist David Mugar, who produces the fireworks show, defended his decision to superimpose the rockets on preshot images of Boston landmarks to create the impossible footage. Producer David E. Kelley does this all the time, he argued: “Boston Legal’’ is really filmed in a studio in Hollywood.
This argument is brilliant, until you consider the fact that “Boston Legal’’ is a fictional TV show and the Fourth of July fireworks truly happen - on the real Charles River, in the actual city of Boston.
Still, the Fourth fiasco got me thinking: What if we could manipulate other quintessentially local phenomena the way Mugar’s crew did? What if we could create a Massachusetts that isn’t bound by annoying limitations such as geography and physics?
For example, the Boston Marathon could use a change of scenery after so many years. Enough Hopkinton: Why not superimpose the runners on Harvard Square, or Bunker Hill, or hey, how about the Champs-Elysees?
While we’re on sports, superimposing some black baseball fans onto crowds at Fenway would do wonders for our reputation for racial harmony. Why not pop working-class families in too, to make it look like they can afford to go to games?
What if we applied this technique, called “matting,’’ to our maddening commutes? On summer weekends, extra lanes could magically appear on Route 3, where Cape drivers’ middle fingers could be digitally enhanced into friendly waves.
On the T, legions of blissfully happy commuters could be inserted into rail cars. Cut to an aerial shot, and we’d see new trains hurtling across the region like sparkling bullets.
We could solve Boston’s real estate woes this way, too. That unsightly, downtown hole where Filene’s used to be would look lovely with the image of a gleaming skyscraper popped on top.
And there are acres and acres of barren land at the Seaport just begging to be populated with images of buildings. One of those pretend buildings could even be City Hall, fulfilling one of Mayor Thomas M. Menino’s fondest hopes.
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