Fathers: Talk safety with girls

That fatal paradigm usually involves a young man who is hell-bent on controlling his partner, yet can’t control himself. The perpetrator is often extremely possessive and jealous, traits attributed to Fujita by some who knew the couple, according to investigators. Domestic abusers often resort to more violence than needed to accomplish their goals - even when that goal is murder. Prosecutors charge that Fujita, 18, showed “extreme atrocity’’ when cutting the neck of his ex-girlfriend.

This gruesome case might compel some fathers to adopt the persona of the pioneer pa who sits on the porch cradling his double barrel shotgun as the suitor arrives. If only it worked. Daughters see such posturing as ridiculous and embarrassing. Intimidation tactics might succeed at frightening away a decent young man who wouldn’t want to date a girl with an unstable father. But boys prone to domestic violence won’t be put off by this show. Often times, they’ve grown up in households saturated in real violence.

But there is a role for vigilant fathers. Domestic violence experts suggest being on the look-out for the following danger signs: your daughter appears fearful of not immediately returning a boyfriend’s frequent texts or calls; a boyfriend insists that she give up favorite activities to conform with his schedule; he insults her frequently; she seems like she’s walking on eggshells when around him; and the relationship centers so much on the boyfriend that the girl feels solely responsible for his feelings.