How’s ‘never’ for you?

The word

The enduring popularity of absolutes

June 12, 2011|By Erin McKean

The word never carries a lot of weight: It admits of no contradiction; it leaves no door open for negotiation or compromise. That inflexibility is what grabs our attention, and what gives the word its power.

“Neverisms,” a new book by dedicated quotation-collector Mardy Grothe (who, besides being a psychologist, is the author of “I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like,” “Oxymoronica,” and “Ifferisms: An Anthology of Aphorisms that Begin With the Word ‘If,’ ” among other books) collects quotations that begin with the ultimatum never — which Grothe has been amassing for more than 20 years. Neverisms, as defined by Grothe, are dehortations: statements intended to advise against a particular thing or action. These sayings don’t start with a gentle “would you mind” or “it’s probably a good idea” — they load their advice missile with a big never warhead, and fire it off at you.

Once you start noticing them, neverisms are not hard to find. A fair number of classic sayings and proverbs, both ancient and modern, are neverisms: “Never send a boy to do a man’s job.” “Never speak ill of the dead.” “Never judge a book by its cover.” “Never count your chickens before they’re hatched.” “Never make the same mistake twice.” “Never let the facts get in the way of a good story.” “Never complain, never explain” (from a 1864 speech by Benjamin Disraeli). “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity” (that’s Robert J. Hanlon).

Though they all start with never, not all neverisms are negative; plenty actually use their never to cancel out defeatism or passivity. “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world” (Margaret Mead). “Never let the odds keep you from pursuing what you know in your heart you were meant to do” (Satchel Paige). “Never lose a chance of saying a kind word” (William Thackeray, in “Vanity Fair”). There’s even a contribution from Pope John Paul XXIII: “Never hesitate to hold out your hand; never hesitate to accept the outstretched hand of another.”

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