I'd just as soon he not make start No. 101 for the Red Sox. Not just three days from now. Not three months from now. Not three years from now.
It's time, to paraphrase Peter Abraham's spot-on take from this morning, for Dice-K to become someone else's migraine.
He has to go.
Now, I don't know about you, but I don't come to this conclusion easily. I try to avoid opining in lockstep with the sports radio conventional wisdom of the day. The panic button is usually well out of my reach. And I don't like trading an accomplished pitcher -- which Dice-K, a genuine icon in Japan who is 49-26 with a 4.18 ERA in the major leagues, certainly is -- just because of perceived depth. The lesson still lingers from the Bronson Arroyo-for-Wily Mo Pena trade.
Besides, there's the matter of who replaces him. His most similar pitcher through age 29, Tim Wakefield, a 43-year-old muscle-pull-waiting-to-happen? Alfredo Aceves, whose versatility would be missed should he take a regular turn in the rotation? Michael Bowden? Felix Doubront? Mark Portugal?
Well . . . yeah, actually, any of them will do, save for Portugal, I suppose. Because here's the dirty truth about Dice-K: He's not just maddening or inconsistent. He's plain lousy, and he has been for more than two years now. Pete laid out some of his numbers since the beginning of the 2009 season, a span of 37 starts, and here we've tallied a few more, for this final line:
13 wins, 14 losses, 220 innings, 232 hits allowed, 128 earned runs, 109 walks, 191 strikeouts, 5.24 ERA, 1.55 WHIP 1.06 HRs per nine innings.
That's not a decent No. 5. Heck, that's not even Wes Gardner or John Wasdin, and I'm not being a snarky weasel for once.
During his three-plus seasons (1997-2000) with the Red Sox, during which he became something of a punchline thanks to Jerry Trupiano's overly enthusiastic home run calls, ol' Way Back won 19, lost 16 and had a 4.66 ERA and 1.307 WHIP. He allowed 1.4 HRs per nine while pitching at the peak of the steroid era.
It's true: John Wasdin was better over the course of his Red Sox career than Dice-K has been since the start of the '09 season.
