Love & Other Drugs

Read the list of possible side effects first: can feel potent and pretty

November 24, 2010|Ty Burr, Globe Staff

WARNING: Prolonged exposure to “Love & Other Drugs,’’ a romantic comedy-drama about the ups and downs of high-powered pharmaceutical salesman Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal), may result in the following side effects: Overwhelming sensations of slickness, loss of taste and other critical faculties, waxy plot buildup, severe supporting-character blockage, terminal-heroine syndrome, and impacted chick-flick cliches. Constipation and brain death may ensue.

ADVANTAGES: When used as directed, this product has three primary benefits that may offset the above conditions. Chief among these is Anne Hathaway in the role of Maggie Murdoch, a Pittsburgh free spirit living with stage one Parkinson’s disease. Unlike previous sufferers of Unspecified Movie Wasting Syndrome (also known as MacGraw’s Blight, after the star of “Love Story’’), Maggie has a diagnosis and symptoms, both of which anchor the character in medical reality and allow the actress to create an unexpectedly moving portrait of a young woman coming to terms with infirmity and looming death.

A key component in the efficacy of this ingredient is an organic enzyme known as “star quality,’’ which to date has proven resistant to synthesis in the lab. The chief hallmark is an indefinable glow: Hathaway has it. The complexity of this compound can even be isolated in a single close-up, in a bus-stop scene in which Maggie realizes Jamie is ready to commit, whereupon any number of unidentifiable emotions flicker across her face, including but not limited to: fear. Possible audience reactions may include the minor myocardial infarction known as heartbreak.

A secondary benefit of this product may lie in reminding the user of Gyllenhaal’s qualities as a gifted and inventive actor despite A) chronic underappreciation by many members of the moviegoing public and, indeed, the author of this medical journal, and B) a role that has many of the elements of the now-discredited steroidal stimulant known as Tom Cruise: endemic cockiness followed by third-act comeuppance, humbling romantic speeches, uncontrolled grinning, etc.

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