An easy decision: More comedy than drama

July 10, 2010|Dan Shaughnessy, Globe Columnist

“Despicable Me.’’

Starring LeBron James, ESPN, Jim Gray, and the Miami Heat.

All despicable.

It’s been more than 36 hours since “The Decision’’ and I’m still nauseous.

Truly, has there ever been a more hideous sports-related hour than what we saw Thursday night?

It’s hard to know where to start. We had MeBron speaking of himself in the third person and saying, “I’m going to take my talents to South Beach.’’ We had ESPN lying to us about at what point MeBron would announce his move, then morphing into game-show mode. We had Gray forever forfeiting all semblance of integrity, taunting America (particularly Clevelanders) by intentionally delaying the only question we wanted him to ask. And now we have the Miami Heat — a veritable team of A-Rods, the team we will root against in every game as long as LeBron, Dwyane Wade, and Chris Bosh are together.

Despicable. All of them.

I don’t know about you, but I’m suddenly a big fan of dangerous Dan Gilbert, the unhinged owner of the Cavaliers. In a rant worthy of vintage Boss Steinbrenner, Gilbert blasted James as if he was Roland the Headless Thompson Gunner. Gilbert labeled James a narcissistic deserter and a “self-titled’’ former king. Then he called James a quitter, specifying all the playoff games in which MeBron quit against the Celtics this year. Ouch.

Certainly James is free to pursue all opportunities — he earned that — but maybe he could have spoken with Gilbert, man to man, and told him he was going to play elsewhere. After all, the Cavs did fire their coach and general manager and offer to play their games in Akron to please MeBron.

Reaction was all over the map. We saw folks burning James jerseys in Cleveland. The front cover of the New York Post screamed “LeBUM!’’, with “SON OF A BEACH!’’ on the back. The Daily News went with “WHO CARES!’’ Meanwhile, ESPN commentator Mark Jackson lauded MeBron’s comportment and said he used “The Decision’’ as a teaching moment for his children.

Wow.

Fans in jilted cities and happy fans in South Florida reacted along partisan lines and we expected nothing less. But it’s impossible to heap enough abuse on Gray and the Worldwide Leader.