FOXBOROUGH - Patriots 59, Titans 0.
Huh?
What was that? What did it mean? To paraphrase the late Jack Buck, did I just see what I just saw?
45-0 at the half? Five Tom Brady touchdown passes in the second quarter? Brady sitting down with a period and a half to play after leading his team to scores on the first eight of what would become nine straight productive possessions? (Doc Rivers isn’t even asking for that.)
It was all so surreal it might actually be necessary to call the league office and ask, “This counts, right?’’
I said coming in I didn’t think the Titans were an 0-5 team. They’re not. They’re an 0-10 team. Or soon will be if they play more games like this. I guess we safely can surmise they don’t like playing in the snow, which, by the way, kind of caught everyone by surprise.
There have been some woeful rival performances in both the old stadium here in Foxborough and the new, but this one may set a standard of ineptitude for decades. It was all there for the Titans/Oilers: no offense, unbelievably atrocious defense (some Patriots receivers were embarrassingly open), three fumbles lost, two interceptions, and a shanked Reggie Hodges punt. The Patriots scored out of all three first-half turnovers, plus the shanked punt.
“You know,’’ said Tennessee coach Jeff Fisher, “I guess it’s fortunate for me, career-wise, I’ve never been through anything like this before. Unfortunately, it happened [yesterday]. I can assure you one thing, it’s not going to happen again.’’
“It’s about as bad as it gets,’’ said Tennessee quarterback Kerry Collins. “Period. The end.’’
OK, OK, OK, it probably would be fair to mention that your New England Patriots were pretty darn good, now that I think about it.
But how good? Where does one team’s astonishing awfulness coincide with another’s obvious efficiency? Would the Patriots have beaten anyone playing the way they did yesterday? Would the Titans/Oilers have lost to anyone playing the way they did yesterday? We might be entering existential question territory here.
Wanna hear something funny? The game started off on a negative Patriot note.
On the Patriots’ first possession, Brady got the ball at the Tennessee 29 following a 35-yard Julian Edelman punt return, eventually reaching a third and 3 at the Titans 10. But Brady and the Patriots incurred a delay of game penalty in advance of a Brady sack, pushing them back to the 21. Stephen Gostkowski went wide right from 37 yards out, and that would be the last unsuccessful Patriots possession until a Brian Hoyer-led drive fizzled at the Titans 6 more than two hours, 579 yards, eight touchdowns, and a field goal later.
