Angels & Demons

Unoriginal sin: In 'Angels & Demons,' Ron Howard exorcises what's best about the book

May 15, 2009|Wesley Morris, Globe Staff

Not all trash is art, but there's an art to making trash. So, father, forgive the makers of "Angels & Demons," for they know not what they do. Dan Brown's mystery novel, full of flamboyantly murdered cardinals, facts of every gratuitous stripe, and information kiosks masquerading as characters, has been given the serious treatment. OK, no movie whose climax includes a man of God plume, in his vestments, from the sky with a parachute is entirely serious.

But given the book's indecent juiciness, there's every reason to lament the creaky contraption Ron Howard and his screenwriters, Akiva Goldsman and David Koepp, have devised. Howard also directed "The Da Vinci Code," based on the blockbuster Brown wrote after 2000's "Angels & Demons." Asking whether the new movie is better than the first is natural if moot. Would you prefer to drown in a swimming pool or an ocean?

"Angels & Demons" puts us back in the company of professor Robert Langdon, the droopy Harvard symbologist played once more by Tom Hanks. The Vatican has summoned Langdon to look into the meaning of mysterious ghastly events on the premises. The professor has been selected for his "expertise," his "erudition," and, most certainly, for his hair, which appears to be growing hydroponically from his scalp. The Church believes in miracles, yes, but what about Miracle-Gro?

Langdon arrives in St. Peter's Square not long after the pope has died. A conclave is underway for a replacement. But this ghastly killing, with its awful markings, suggests a conspiracy is afoot. Indeed, Langdon deduces that the branding is the work of an ancient, evil secret society called the Illuminati.

The group has come out of hiding, having hired an assassin to kidnap and kill each of the four papal candidates (one per hour) until midnight (the chase gets underway at 6:53 p.m.), at which point a stolen canister containing less than a gram of antimatter will explode in the Basilica, destroying everything, killing everyone. The late pope's chief aide (Ewan McGregor) wants the threats publicized. But the elder cardinal overseeing the conclave (Armin Mueller-Stahl) demands secrecy and order.

Who in the Church is behind this craziness? Can Langdon read the signs quickly enough to stop it? Such lines as "Shining star at the end of the path? I thought so, too!" suggest that he'll at least get close. Langdon is speaking there to Vittoria Vetra (Ayelet Zurer), a scientist with luxurious curls. A colleague was slain when the canister was taken in Switzerland, and she spends the movie running around Rome at Hanks's side.