Bronx bombshell sends loud message

So what do you think now, smart guys? We told you we meant business. First, we bagged the best pitcher available. We got big ol' CC Sabathia. Then we got the righthanded pitcher with the best stuff available. We got A.J. Burnett, and he even has his own periods to go with his initials. And now we got ourselves the best position player available. We got Mark Teixeira.

How you gonna pitch to us now, smart guys?

The last eight years have been tough. First there was that nonsense against the Diamondbacks in 2001. Like, how many times is Mo gonna give up a save in the ninth? Then we lose to the Angels with their pitty-pat lineup. Please. Next we lose to the Marlins and that kid Beckett? Impossible.

You know we don't talk much about '04. Up 3-0, just kicking their butts in Game 3, and we're three outs away from a sweep that would have buried them for the next 86 years. Then they luck out. Roberts just makes it to second and Mueller bounces one up the middle. And how did that ball Tony Clark hit crawl up the fence? That shoulda been the game-winner right there. Aw, we're sick of talking about it.

Anyway, we could never catch a break. Mussina was OK, but did we win it all with him? No. Kevin Brown? Hey, you win a few, you lose a few. Randy? We had to try, but he was never really comfortable in New York, you know? Roger? Next question.

And position players. We got Giambi a year removed from an MVP year, and he put up some pretty good numbers, but, well, you know. A-Rod? Coupla MVPs and a lot of off-the-field headlines, but how 'bout a big postseason hit (or any postseason hit), Big Guy?

Johnny Damon, Abreu? Nice players. Of course, Damon can't throw and he has to move to left, and what do we do with Matsui? Hideki Matsui. Now there's a guy who's worth the money. Too bad we couldn't have cloned him.

Couldn't catch a break with the farm system, either. Way back when, we brought up Jeter, Mo, Pettitte, and Posada. Went kinda dry after that. Yeah, well, there's Robby Cano. They say he's a future batting champ. That's assuming we can get him to understand this is a 162-game business.