A Saturday evening. The phone rings.
"Hello?"
"Hey, girl."
"Oh, hey. What's going on?"
"Nothing. I just saw that Eddie Murphy movie 'Norbit,' where he plays both the nerd with an overbite, big glasses, and a puffy little Afro, and the obnoxious fat woman he marries."
"That's funny, I went last night. And I'm at a loss. I laughed and all. But it was also dumb and coarse and sometimes boring and a little bit sad. I mean I know Eddie Murphy is a great comedian, and I'm happy for his Oscar nomination for 'Dreamgirls' and that his career's on a roll again -- and I mean I'll support a brother. But when's he gonna try to do some August Wilson. 'Cause this 'Norbit' is some seriously regressive -- "
"I'm feeling you on this. He still doesn't like women."
"I've been saying that since 'Delirious.' "
"This movie belongs in the Black Stereotype Hall of Fame, from the three shiftless schemers to the two funky pimps. It is interesting that Eddie decided to play the most offensive characters himself -- the wife, Rasputia, and the kindly, racist Chinese dude who raises Norbit."
"The only recommendable thing about Norbit is that he's not as bad as every other person in this movie. It's like these weird defects in Eddie's psychology are OK because he can make entertainment out of them."
"Comedians do that all the time. But his biggest defect is about us. We're not as big as Rasputia, but we're not dainty, either. And this movie is about an evil obese chick. She's jealous and petty and lazy and greedy and gross and ignorant. Did you see yourself in her? 'Cause I didn't."
"No. But what's weird is how she's not meant to be a satire on a particular type of person. She's like just a pure living nightmare, the reason why so many men chase Paris Hilton and the Pussycat Dolls. Norbit never loved her. He married her because her no-good idiot brothers -- two bodybuilders and one slick dude -- pretty much force him to. She goes crazy when Thandie Newton shows up playing his childhood sweetheart, who's a lot thinner. The dark-skinned fatty versus the fatless hottie. It's Lena Horne versus Ethel Waters all over again."
"Or 'Dreamgirls.' "
"Is it me or did it seem like the people making this movie went out of their way to make Thandie look a lot lighter than Rasputia?"
"It's not you. They definitely gave her the Barbra Streisand lights."
"It was also like every time Rasputia starts to seem real in an understandable, human way, like when she tells Thandie she's too thin out of actual jealousy, the movie makes her do something stupid in the next scene."
"Oh, like when she torpedoes down that water slide in the bathing suit."