And Thomas Boswell, the splendid Washington Post columnist, delights in the tale of a 30-year-old Sox rookie, Clarence Blethen, who put his false teeth in his hip pocket while pitching and on Sept. 21, 1923, after forgetting to put them back in his mouth, bit himself in the backside while sliding into second base to break up a double play.
This is not a list to which you want your name attached, but Dustan Mohr, the most likely player to platoon with Trot Nixon in right field for the Sox this season, sheepishly qualifies for the way he got hurt on Opening Day last season. Mohr, who has a dirt-dog intensity that mirrors Nixon's, put himself on the disabled list while celebrating a walkoff home run by Rockies teammate Clint Barmes. He strained a calf muscle vaulting the low fence in front of the Rockies' dugout.
''I was pumped up," he said. ''It's not a very high fence. It's something I've done a thousand times. I just took the wrong step and the calf just pops. It felt like someone had shot me in the back of the leg with a paintball gun. I turned around to see who it was. I thought somebody was trying to give me five. Nobody was even close. I took one step and went down."
So much for what was supposed to be the best season of Mohr's career, one in which he finally got the chance to play every day, an opportunity he was never able to seize in previous tours with the Twins and Giants. Instead, it became the worst. Mohr missed the first month of the season, played miserably thereafter, lost his regular gig, failed to hit his weight (.214 average, 215 pounds), and struck out more than once every three at-bats.
(In a strange twist, Barmes's terrific rookie season was short-circuited by another freak injury. He fractured his left collarbone, he said, when he fell while carrying some deer meat he'd been given by teammate Todd Helton.)