Holiday sounds traditional and not-so-traditional

December 04, 2005

Everyone knows an audiophile who can use a laugh during a stressful holiday season. Just don't choose Christopher Moore's ''The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror" for the more staid on your list (Harper Audio, unabridged fiction, five CDs, six hours, $29.95, read by Tony Roberts; also available as a download from www.audible.com, $20.97). A town full of zombies, a Ray-Ban-wearing fruit bat, a murdered Santa, and a truly thick angel may be too much for them. However, this outrageous comedy is perfect for those who prefer their eggnog served with a shot of subversive satire. Paired with the Christopher Buckley-esque humor is a narrator with a zesty, slightly wry attitude that's a perfect fit.

We don't want to forget those traditionalists, though, so for them we have ''How Mrs. Claus Saved Christmas,As Told to Jeff Guinn" (Listen & Live Audio, unabridged fiction, nine CDs, 11 hours, $29.95, read by Susan Denaker; also available as a download from www.audible.com, $20.97). Guinn, whose first novel was 2004's ''The Autobiography of Santa Claus," again provides the rundown of Christmas legend disguised by historical fact, only this time we get it from the distaff side of the Claus couple. Layla, as filtered through the wonderfully cheerful, slightly aged voice of Denaker, tells of the Canterbury Christmas March of 1647, when thousands of peasants took to the streets, demonstrating against Parliament's suppression of Christmas celebrations.

Christmas has become such a secular holiday that Santa often gets more ink than Jesus, the figure behind all the hoopla. Anne Rice, of all people, has written a fictionalized account of his life in ''Christ the Lord: Out of Egypt" (Random House Audio, unabridged fiction, eight CDs, 9 1/2 hours, $39.95, read by Josh Heine; also available on cassette for $39.95 and as a download from www.audible.com, $27.97). It's overly long and pallid compared with Rice's usual purple prose, but this respectful novel provides the listener with an account of the differences among first-century Jewish groups and creates an inner life for a child who recognized his uniqueness. Heine sounds youthful and energetic enough to pull off almost 10 hours as a young boy without becoming cloying or cute.

If that is too reverent for those on your shopping list, there is always ''The Worst Noel: Hellish Holiday Tales," written and read by various authors (Harper Audio, unabridged fiction, five CDs, six hours, $29.95; also available as a download from www.audible.com, $20.97). Though not exactly family fare, the essays run the gamut from sweet to tart, silly to darkly humorous. The audiobook is nicely put together with mini-biographies of each author.