First-person guides through dark times

May 22, 2005

Let's term them self-help memoirs: books that use autobiography to mete out life lessons. Done well, they tell a gripping story and point the way toward understanding.

Take Paula Kamen's ''All in My Head." ''More than a decade ago, at the age of twenty-four, in a single moment, I found myself going from 'girl, emerging author,' to 'girl, interrupted,' " Kamen writes. While putting in a contact lens, the author was stricken with a headache so intractable that she has yet to gain relief. Kamen's book is about chronic pain, the sort that usually leaves sufferers by turns angry, physically drained, and totally hopeless. For most who experience chronic daily headache, getting through the day is a Sisyphean task. Yet Kamen describes her descent into headache hell with verve and wit.

She starts where most of us would, with traditional medical intervention. In the course of her search for a cure, Kamen bounces from neurologists to headache specialists to shrinks. None of them bring her relief. A cornucopia of pharmaceutical products later, the headache, which by this time has become a living, breathing character, still rules her life. Kamen's understandable frustration leads her to try self-medication, then massage and an all-natural diet. During this stage, she is a regular at the local Whole Foods. Her description of a typical expedition to this holistic shopper's paradise is priceless. According to Kamen, the clientele of laid-back yuppies can't bear to wait a second more than necessary; they'll run you over in the aisles or the parking lot, ''pelt you with pine nuts, scorch you with espresso, and poke you with the toothpicks left from the sample display of aged Spanish Manchego sheep's milk cheese." Kamen's head may be threatening to explode, but she manages to keep her sense of humor intact. Her prose is a pleasure, and as a fellow headache sufferer, I found this book packed with useful information. She covers diet, doctors, and alternative therapies, and even researches physiology. For readers who have headaches and for chronic pain sufferers, this book is a must-read.

Martha Beck's ''Leaving the Saints" maps an altogether different sort of psychic journey. Beck, who currently makes her living as a ''life coach," describes her decision to return to Utah after graduate school and raise her second child, Adam, a Down syndrome baby. Initially she feels a tremendous sense of relief at the communal acceptance of her decision not to have an abortion. But it doesn't take long for doubts to surface. It turns out that Beck, the daughter of a well-known Mormon scholar, or ''apologist," as she terms him, has a dark secret. One that, unfortunately, you've guessed by the third chapter.

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