Only a few belles at this 5-hour ball

The lineup was almost absurdly ambitious in its scope, with 14 acts taking the stage over 5 hours. But the music itself was remarkably varied, covering the hip-hop of the Black Eyed Peas, the acoustic novelty tunes of Bowling for Soup and Frickin' A, the bland pop-ified punk of Simple Plan, the undistinguished piano ballads of Vanessa Carlton and Gavin DeGraw, the jazzy acoustic pop of John Mayer, the sub-John Mayer pop of Ryan Cabrera, and whatever you'd call what Gwen Stefani's playing these days.

The show never let up for a second. With the videos, the onstage interview of "One Tree Hill" heartthrob Tyler Hilton, and the text messages, it seemed designed to prevent a single quiet moment. With each act performing a few songs, just long enough to play their hits (or in a few cases, hit), the show became a repeated loop of instant gratification.

Still, it wasn't until 2 hours into the show that the first substantial act showed up. With the crowd warmed up but not yet exhausted, the Black Eyed Peas played their obvious hits; their backing band pounded like thunder, and people in the crowd waved their arms above their heads during "Where Is the Love?" without being asked. Stefani took the stage not long afterward for an unannounced performance complete with marching band and Harajuku girls, energetically kicking out two songs, including "What You Waiting For?" before splitting.

Anybody hoping to smirk their way through Ashlee Simpson's performance was in for a disappointment, as her set was shockingly good despite an unfortunate bout with a nonworking microphone right at the start (the sound crew can be such jokers). The problem solved, she delivered a spirited and genuine performance noticeably lacking a "guide vocal" (as verified by the dips in volume when she occasionally turned away from the microphone). Following Simpson, Christina Milian's decision to forgo any visible musicians or DJs for her disposable, synthetic dance-pop simply seemed imprudent.