Baby Geniuses' franchise could use a timeout

Time passed, however, and studio executives -- definitely not possessing the wisdom of the universe -- decided that even a groaner like "Baby Geniuses" somehow merited a second chapter. Clark is back for a second helping, as are the Fitzgerald triplets (Gerry, Leo, and Myles), who jointly played the twins Sly and Whit. Now their single shared character is inexplicably named "Kahuna," and he's a permanently pint-size superhero whose mission is to rescue endangered children with all manner of "Spy Kids"-esque gizmos and bad computer animation.

Then there's the obligatory villain. Turner and Lloyd learned their lesson, so this time it's none other than Oscar-winner Jon Voight who takes the bullet. Against all expectations, he's the movie's single point of light. It could have been terrible, and in many ways still is: He's Kane, a former East German commandant turned media mogul who has a conveniently diabolical plan to control the children of the world through coded TV broadcasts. Fighting back what must have been a near-overwhelming urge to hide, Voight plays it as broad as the Rhine, with utterly implausible accent, mock Stasi regalia, limp, and sneer. It's almost enough to distract you from all the spasmodically lip-synching toddlers.